November 21, 2003
The Little Buckaroo
"Hey, Laura, here comes the Karlster."
"Sir, I asked you not to call me that."
"Come on, Karl, I give everyone nicknames.
That's one of my most endearing qualities."
"No, sir, it's not. Where did you get the
idea that it was endearing."
"I dunno, I think I read it somewhere."
"I. . .I. . .I read it somewhere?"
"I thought the Big Guy and I made it clear
that you were NOT to read anything. It
usually confuses you, and your reading has
been nothing but trouble for us."
"But Laura's a teacher. She says, 'Reading
"'Fundamental,' Dubby. Reading is Fundamental."
"Whatever, but how can reading get me in
"Well, for example, what do you suppose will be
the most enduring photograph of your
"Me in my pilot costume, getting out of that
cool fighter plane?"
"No, that was pretty stupid, but I was thinking of
the one with you pretending to read to a little
girl--and THE BOOK WAS UPSIDE-DOWN! I want
you to promise me again that you will not read
anything, ever. You didn't have to read anything
at Yale and you don't have to read anything in the
White House. Agreed? SIR!"
"Okay, okay. But that doesn't include comic books,
does it? I mean, they're mostly pictures and I
usually don't read the words anyway."
"Alright, but none of the scary monster comics.
You know how you get."