November 22, 2003

The Little Buckaroo in Chief


"Boy, Sonny Perdue and I have had a week to test
your medal as a leader."

"I think you mean 'mettle,' sir, but I'm not sure
what you are talking about."

"Well, I spent the last few days duking it out with
those commie terrorist protesters in England, and
Governor Perdue is having his own protests in
Georgia.  I think the terorists are targeting Republicans."

"What protests?  I didn't know anything about that."

"I saw it on Fox--remember, you said I could watch
Fox news as long as I didn't read any newspapers. 
Fox showed the protestors charging into the legislature
and breaking up the furniture.  Hey, maybe I should
send the Army to put down the uprising.  No, I'll send
the Marines.  In fact, I think I should lead the troops
into battle.  I could borrow a Hummer from the
Governator.  This could do wonders for my re-election
campaign.  I could even wear my pilot costume for that. 
Even you can't object to my wearing it when I heroically
lead our troops into battle."

"Argh!  First, you can't wear the pilot costume; we
discussed that and you agreed.  Second, the President
of the United States does NOT lead troops into battle. 
And third, the protest you saw on Fox was in the other
Georgia.  The protest is not in Atlanta, it's in Tbilisi,
in the former Soviet republic, not the American state. 
And they are not protesting Sonny Perdue, they are
protesting Eduard Shevardnadze, the president. 
The protesters say he was not really elected in the
November 2nd election."

"Boy, I can relate to that.  Maybe I could lead the
Marines into that Georgia; we could say I made one
of my heart-warming mistakes.  I could give him a
clever nickname, like 'Severed Nazi.'  How about
that, Red Rover?"

"Sir, I asked you not to call me that."